Santa's Bad Day...

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree

Did you know?

Did you know?

The muscles in our heart have the strength to shoot our blood 10 meters high in the air
Did you know? Elephants are only animals that cannot jump

Did you know?

The Body’s Strongest Muscle is tongue

Did you know?

All Polar Bears are Left Handed

Did you know?

Crocodiles cannot stick out their tongue

Did you know?

Butterflies taste with their feet

Did you know?

A Cockroach can live without head for 9 days it dies because it cannot eat

Did you know?

A Duck’s Quack has no echo

Did you know?

Each King in the playing cards represents a King in real History

Spades: King David

Clubs: Alexander the Great

Hearts: Charlemagne

Diamonds: Julius Cesar

Did you know?

It is impossible to sneeze with eyes open

Did you know?

Multiplying 111,111,111*111,111,111=12,345,678,987,654,321

Did you know?

Starfish has no brains

Did you know?

A Statue in a park with a soldier on a horse with:

Two feet in the air means soldier has died in a combat

One foot in the air means soldier has died of injuries in a combat

All four feet’s on the ground means soldier has died in a natural cause

Did you know?

Mosquitoes have teeth

Did you know?

When English settlers landed in Australia they noticed a strange animal that jumped extremely high and far. They asked the aboriginal people in sign language and body language about this animal. The aboriginal people responded “Khan Khu Ru” and the English adopted as Kangaroo. But the aboriginal people were saying “We don’t Understand You”, “Khan Khu Ru”.

Beer Vs Girl

Most men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following is a debate, developed by the University of Mumbai , in India .. to help you analyze which is better ! Here is the debate .......
A Beer is always wet, a woman is not ! 1 point for beer !
Beer is horrible, when it is hot ! 1 point for women !
A cold beer, satisfies you ! 1 point for beer !
If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again ! Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view ... )
10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere ! 1 point for women !
The older, The beer is - the better, it is ! 1 point for beer !
Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God ! 1 point for women !
If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic ! 1 point for women !
For a beer, you pay taxes ! 1 point for women !
If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry ! 1 point for beer !
You can always be sure that, you are the first one " Opening " a beer ! 1 point for beer !
If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself ! 1 point for beer !
You know exactly how much a beer costs ! 1 point for beer !
A beer does not have a mother ! 1 point for beer !
You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after ! 1 point for beer !
So the Score is ........... Beer beats women - 9 to 6 !
If you are a woman reading this and getting angry ......... know that a beer would never get angry ! So .......... Another point for beer ! Now the final score is .......... Beer beats women - 10 to 6!
So Drink Beer rather than going around the girls…

Thoughts to Live by

You shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.
You shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.
You shall not carry grudges, for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.
You shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.
You shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.
You shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you.
You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!
You shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own.
You shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.
You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

I love You In 66 languages ----

Tamil > Naan Unnai Khadalikkeren
Telugu> Nenu Ninnu Premisthunnanu
Thai > Khao Raak Thoe / chun raak ter
Turkish > seni seviyorum
Ukranian > Yalleh blutebeh / ya tebe kohayu
Urdu > Mea tum se pyaar karta hu ( when a guy says it) Mea tum se pyar karti hu (when a gal says it)
Vietnamese > Toi yeu em
Vulcan > Wani ra yana ro aisha
Yugoslavian > Ya te volim
Zazi > Ezhele hezdege
Zulu > Mena Tanda Wena
Slovenian > ljubim te
Swedish >Jag älskar dig
Swiss German > Ch-ha di gärn
Spanish> Te quiero / te amo / yo amor tu
Swahili > Naku penda
Tagalog > Mahal Kita / Iniibig kita
Esperanto > Mi amas vim
Estonian > Ma armastan sind / Mina armastan sind (formal)
Farsi > Tora dust midaram
Filipino > Mahal ka ta
Finnish> Minä rakastan sinua
French > Je t'aime
Gaelic > Tá mé i ngrá leat
German > Ich liebe Dich
Greek > S'agapw
Greenlandic > Asavakit
Gujrati > Hoon tane prem karoochhoon
Hawaiian > Aloha wau ia 'oe
Hebrew> Ani ohevet ota
Hindi> Main tumsey pyaar karta hoon / Maine Pyar Kiya
Hmong > Kuv Hlub Koj
Hungarian> Szeretlek
Hokkien > Wa ai lu
Hopi> Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Icelandic> Eg elska thig
Indonesian > Saya cinta padamu
Italian > ti amo
Irish > taim i' ngra leat
Japanese> Aishiteru
Javanese> Kulo tresno marang panjenengan (formal) aku terno kowe (informal)
Afrikaans > Ek is lief vir jou
Albanian > te dua
Arabic > Ana Ahebak / Ana Bahibak
Armenian > yes kez shat em siroom
Assyr> Az tha hijthmekem
Alentejano(Portugal)> Gosto De Ti, -----!
Bahasa Malayu (Malaysia)> Saya cinta mu
Basque > Maite Zaitut
Bengali> Ami Tomake Bahlobashi
Bavarian > I mog di
Bisaya > Nahigugma ko nimo
Bosnian > Ja te volim (formally) or volim-te
Bulgarian > Obicham te
Burmese "> chit pa de
Cantonese > Ngo Oi Nei
Chinese > gnoy oy na
Hongkong >Goi Oi Lei
Taiwan > Wa Ai Li
Cambodian > Bon sro lanh oon
Catalan > T'estim (mallorcan)
Croatian > LJUBim te
Czech > miluji te
Danish> Jeg elsker dig
Dutch > Ik hou van jou
English > I love you

What your Handwriting Says?

• If letters slant to the left: Indicates introspection and a lot of emotional control.

• If letter slant to the right: Reveals a person who's outgoing, friendly, impulsive, and emotionally open.

• If letters are straight up and down: The sign of someone who's ruled by the head, not the heart.

• Letters that slant in more than one direction: Indicates versatility and adaptability.

• An erratic slant: Usually means a lack of flexibility.

• Heavy pressure writing (like you can feel the rib made on the back of the paper): The writer is agitated.

• Moderate pressure (the writing is dark, but you can't feel the rib on the other side of the paper): Shows ability to deal with stress.

• Light pressure: Indicates someone who seems to take life in stride.

• Tiny letters: Indicate the writer is has somewhat low self esteem but is intelligent.

• Small letters: The hallmark of quiet, introspective types - they're generally detail-oriented and have good concentration.

• Large letters: Sign of a confident, easygoing individual.

• Huge letters: Indicate someone who's theatrical, usually loud, and needs to be the center of attention at all times.

• Wide letters (their width and height are about the same): The mark of someone who's open and friendly.

• Narrow letters: Show someone who's somewhat shy and inhibited but very self-disciplined.

• Letters that don't touch: Indicate an impulsive, artistic, sometimes impractical free thinker.

• Some letters connecting: Means the writer's personality blends logic and intuition.

• All letters making contact: The sign of someone who's highly cautious.

• A curved first mark: Shows a person who's traditional and plays by the rules.

• A straight beginning stroke: Reveals someone who's rigid and doesn't like being told what to do.

• A final stroke straight across: The writer is cautious.

• An end mark that curves up: Reveals generosity.

• Perfect penmanship: The hallmark of a communicative person.

• An indecipherable scrawl: Indicates a person who's secretive, closed-up and likes to keep his thoughts to himself

Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Instructions to a Happier Life....

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely. 10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slow but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your Mom.
16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
22. Marry someone you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other skill.
23. Spend time alone.
24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books and watch less TV.
27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God, but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation; don't bring up the past.
31. Read between the lines.
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the earth.
34. Pray -- there's immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust someone who doesn't close their eyes when you kiss them.
38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
41. Learn the rules then break some.
42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order getting it.
44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

believe it...you can read it

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt ..

Never Give Up

One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more
vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the
bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo see. I would not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and
gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been
struggling, you have actually been growing roots"
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different
Purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise" He asked in return.
"As high as it can" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can." I left the forest and bring back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

Never Give up.

REFLECTIONS OF A MOTHER

What a mother would say
I GAVE YOU LIFE - BUT CANNOT LIVE IT FOR YOU
I CAN TEACH YOU THINGS - BUT I CANNOT MAKE YOU LEARN.
I CAN GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS - BUT I CANNOT BE THERE TO LEAD YOU
I CAN ALLOW YOU FREEDOM - BUT I CANNOT ACCOUNT FOR IT
I CAN TAKE YOU TO TEMPLE - BUT I CANNOT MAKE YOU BELIEVE
I CAN TEACH YOU RIGHT FROM WRONG - BUT I CANNOT ALWAYS DECIDE FOR YOU
I CAN BUY YOU BEAUTIFUL CLOTHS - BUT I CANNOT MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL INSIDE
I CAN OFFER YOU ADVICE - BUT I CANNOT ACCEPT IT FOR YOU
I CAN GIVE YOU LOVE - BUT I CANNOT FORCE IT UPON YOU
I CAN TEACH YOU TO SHARE - BUT I CANNOT MAKE YOU UNSELFISH
I CAN TEACH YOU RESPECT - BUT I CANNOT FORCE YOU TO SHOW HONOR
I CAN ADVICE YOU ABOUT FRIENDS - BUT CANNOT CHOOSE THEM FOR YOU
I CAN ADVISE YOU ABOUT SEX - BUT I CANNOT KEEP YOU PURE
I CAN TELL YOU THE FACTS OF LIFE - BUT I CANNOT BUILD YOUR REPUTATION
I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT DRINKS - BUT I CAN’T SAY “NO” FOR YOU
I CAN WARN YOU ABOUT DRUGS - BUT I CAN’T PREVENT YOU FROM USING THEM
I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT LOFTY GOALS - BUT I CAN’T ACHIEVE THEM FOR YOU.
I CAN TEACH YOU KINDNESS - BUT I CAN’T FORCE YOU TO BE GRACIOUS.
I CAN WARN YOU ABOUT SINS - BUT I CANNOT MAKE YOU MORAL.
I CAN LOVE YOU AS A CHILD - BUT I CANNOT PLACE YOU IN GOD’S FAMILY.
I CAN PRAY FOR YOU - BUT I CANNOT MAKE YOU WALK WITH GOD.
I CAN TEACH YOU ABOUT GOD - BUT I CANNOT MAKE GOD YOUR LORD.
I CAN TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE - BUT I CANNOT GIVE YOU ETERNAL LIFE.
I CAN LOVE YOU WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ALL OF MY LIFE AND I WILL ALWAYS..

Making money online

Even with no product and no Web site, you can get paid for what and who you know
Making money online used to pretty much require you to have your own Web site, products to sell and some marketing savvy. But a new generation of dot-coms have arisen that will pay you for what you know and who you know without you having to be a web designer or a marketing genius.

But it's hard to tell hype from the real deal. I did a search on "make money online" and "making money online", and much of the information out there is just promoting various infoproducts, mostly about Internet marketing. I see why people sometimes ask, "Is anyone making money online besides Internet marketing experts?"

So I put together a list of business opportunities with legitimate companies that:
· Pay cash, not just points towards rewards or a chance to win money
· Don't require you to have your own Web domain or your own products
· Don't involve any hard-selling
· Aren't just promoting more Internet marketing
· Give a good return on your time investment

In the interest of objectivity, none of the links below are affiliate links, and none of them have paid or provided any other consideration for their presence here.
These are legitimate companies with business models that allow you to get paid for a wide range of activities.

Help friends find better jobs.
Sites like H3.com and JobThread connect employers with prospective employees, many of whom are already employed and not actively job-hunting, via networking - the people who know these qualified candidates. Rewards for referring a candidate who gets hired range from a few hundred dollars to as much as $5,000 - not chump change. This is a great way to break into the recruiting business with no overhead. JobThread is intriguing in that they can set up a job board for your site or your organization (you don't even have to have a web site) at no cost to you -- no merchant account required. You determine the posting fees and split the revenue with them.

Connect suppliers with buyers.
Referral fees are a common practice in business, but they haven't been used much in online networking sites because there was no way to track them. InnerSell provides that. Vendors set the referral fees they're willing to pay, then when a deal happens, you get 70% of the referral fee.

Provide business contact information.
One of the greatest challenges in sales is getting accurate contact information about prospective customers. A growing number of services have launched in the past couple of years to help address this, but most rely on members to maintain their own contact information. Jigsaw, on the other hand, pays members to help keep information up-to-date on the people they know, not just themselves, and pays them to do so ($1 for each unique new qualifying contact you put into the system). According to Jigsaw, in their first payout after launch, the top ten point-earns each received more than $750.

Become a semi-pro reporter.
Creative Reporter is a new program from Creative Weblogging that lets just about anyone become a paid reporter/blogger. They're looking for people to create original, but non-exclusive, blog posts / articles of 250-500 words on topics including parenting, celebrities, travel, mobile technology, and more. Pay is $10 per 1,000 page views on your posts (that's excellent pay for Web writing, although there's no telling how much traffic/money you'll actually get).
Related: Professional Blogging

Write your own blog.
You don't have to have your own Web site, or install blogging software, or even figure out how to set up the advertising. At Blogger you can set up a blog for free in less than five minutes without knowing a thing about web design, and Blogger even automates setting up Google AdSense so you can make money off your blog by displaying ads and getting paid when people click on the ads. To make even more money from it, set up an affiliate program (see below) for books, music, etc., and insert your affiliate links whenever you refer to those items. You'll have to get a lot of traffic to become a six-figure blogger, but pick an interesting topic, write well, tell all your friends, and you're off to a good start.
Related: Monetizing Your Blog

Advertise other people's products.
If you already have a Web site or a blog, look for vendors that offer related but non-competing products and see if they have an affiliate program. Stick to familiar products and brands - they're easier to sell. To promote those products:
· Place simple text or graphical ads in appropriate places on your site
· Include links to purchase products you review or recommend in a blog, discussion forum or mailing list you control
· Create a dedicated sales page or Web site to promote a particular product
They all work - it just depends on how much time you have to spend on it and your level of expertise with Web design and marketing.

Related: How to Really Make Money on the Internet With an Amazon.com Affiliate Site
The above list is by no means comprehensive, but it highlights some of the new and interesting ways to make money online without investing any money, without having a product of your own, and without having expert sales and marketing skills. Most of all, unlike taking surveys or getting paid to read e-mail, the potential return on your time investment is substantial.

The Pet Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

The Making Of A Mother

By the time the Lord made mothers, He was into the sixth day working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered and said, "Have you read the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not elastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart; and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No way!" said the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"
"And that's on the standard model?" the Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" asked the Angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like You have a leak with this model. I told You that You were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak." the Lord objected. "That's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."
The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything for this one. You even created the tear!"
The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, "I'm afraid you are wrong again. I created the woman, but she created the tear!"

What your Birth month means

JANUARY

1. Ambitious and serious

2. Loves to teach and be taught

3. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses

4. Likes to criticize

5.Hardworking and productive

6. Smart, neat and organized

7. Sensitive and has deep thoughts

8. Knows how to make others happy

9. Quiet unless excited or tensed

10. Rather reserved

11. Highly attentive

12. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds

13. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love

14. Loves children

15. Homely person

16. Loyal

17. Needs to improve social abilities

18. Easily jealous

FEBRUARY

1. Abstract thoughts

2. Loves reality and abstract

3. Intelligent and clever

4. Changing personality

5. Temperamental

6. Quiet, shy and humble

7. Low self esteem

8. Honest and loyal

9. Determined to reach goals

10. Loves freedom

11. Rebellious when restricted

12. Loves aggressiveness

13. Too sensitive and easily hurt

14. Showing anger easily

15. Dislike unnecessary things

16. Loves making friends but rarely shows it

17. Daring and stubborn

18. Ambitious

19. Realizing dreams and hopes

20. Sharp

21. Loves entertainment and leisure

22. Romantic on the inside not outside

23. Superstitious and ludicrous

24. Spendthrift

25. Learns to show emotions

MARCH

1. Attractive personality

2. Affectionate

3. Shy and reserved

4. Secretive

5. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic

6. Loves peace and serenity

7. Sensitive to others

8. Loves to serve others

9. Not easily angered

10. Trustworthy

11. Appreciative and returns kindness

12. Observant and assess others

13. Revengeful

14. Loves to dream and fantasize

15. Loves traveling

16. Loves attention

17. Hasty decisions in choosing partners

18. Loves home decors

19. Musically talented

20. Loves special things

21. Moody

APRIL

1. Active and dynamic

2. Decisive and hasteful but tends to regret

3. Attractive and affectionate to oneself

4. Strong mentality

5. Loves attention

6. Diplomatic

7. Consoling

8. Friendly and solves people's problems

9. Brave and fearless

10. Adventurous

11. Loving and caring

12. Suave and generous

13. Emotional

14. Revengeful

15. Agressive

16. Hasty

17. Good memory

18. Moving

19. Motivate oneself and the others

20. Sickness usually of the head and chest

21. Easily get too jealous

MAY

1. Stubborn and hard-hearted

2. Strong-willed and highly motivated

3. Sharp thoughts

4. Easily angered

5. Attracts others and loves attention

6. Deep feelings

7. Beautiful physically and mentally

8. Firm standpoint

9. Easily influenced

10. Needs no motivation

11. Easily consoled

12. Systematic (left brain)

13. Loves to dream

14. Strong clairvoyance

15. Understanding

16. Sickness usually in the ear and neck

17. Good imagination

18. Good debating skills

19. Good physical

20. Weak breathing

21. Loves literature and the arts

22. Loves travelling

23. Dislike being at home

24. Restless

25. Hardworking

26. High spirited

27. Spendthrift

JUNE

1. Thinks far with vision

2. Easily influenced by kindness

3. Polite and soft-spoken

4. Having lots of ideas

5. Sensitive

6. Active mind

7. Hesitating

8. Tends to delay

9. Choosy and always wants the best

10. Temperamental

11. Funny and humorous

12. Loves to joke

13. Good debating skills

14. Talkative

15. Daydreamer

16. Friendly

17. Knows how to make friends

18. Abiding

19. Able to show character

20. Easily hurt

21. Prone to getting colds

22. Loves to dress up

23. Easily bored

24. Fussy

25. Seldom show emotions

26. Takes time to recover when hurt

27. Brand conscious

28. Executive

29. Stubborn

30. Those who loves me are enemies

31. Those who hates me are friends

JULY

1. Fun to be with

2. Secretive

3. Difficult to fathom and to be understood

4. Quiet unless excited or tensed

5. Takes pride in oneself

6. Has reputation

7. Easily consoled

8. Honest

9. Concern about people's feelings

10. Tactful

11. Friendly

12. Approachable

13. Very emotional

14. Tempramental and unpredictable

15. Moody and easily hurt

16. Witty and sarky

17. Sentimental

18. Not revengeful

19. Forgiving but never forgets

20. Dislike nonsensical and unnecessary things

21. Guides others physically and mentally

22. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully

23. Caring and loving

24. Treats others equally

25. Strong sense of sympathy

26. Wary and sharp

27. Judge people through observations

28. Hardworking

29. No difficulties in studying

30. Loves to be alone!

31. Always broods about the past and the old friends

32. Likes to be quiet

33. Homely! person

34. Waits for friends

35. Never looks for friends

36. Not aggressive unless provoked

37. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems

38. Loves to be loved

39. Easily hurt but takes long to recover

40. Overly concerned

41. Puts in effort in work

AUGUST

1. Loves to joke

2. Attractive

3. Suave and caring

4. Brave and fearless

5. Firm and has leadership qualities

6. Knows how to console others

7. Too generous and egoistic

8. Taked high pride of oneself

9. Thirsty for praises

10. Extraordinary spirit

11. Easily angered

12. Angry when provoked

13. Easily jealous

14. Observant

15. Careful and cautious

16. Thinks quickly

17. Independent thoughts

18. Loves to lead and to be led

19. Loves to dream

20. Talented in the arts, music and defence

21. Sensitive but not petty

22. Poor resistance against illnesses

23. Learns to relax

24. Hasty and rushy

25. Romantic

26. Loving and caring

27. Loves to make friends

SEPTEMBER

1. Suave and compromising

2. Careful, cautious and organised

3. Likes to point out people's mistakes

4. Likes to criticize

5. Quiet but able to talk well

6. Calm and cool

7. Kind and sympathetic

8. Concerned and detailed

9. Trustworthy, loyal and honest

10. Does work well

11. Sensitive

12. Thinking

13. Good memory

14. Clever and knowledgeable

15. Loves to look for information

16. Must control oneself when criticising

17. Able to motivate oneself

18. Understanding

19. Secretive

20. Loves sports, leisure and travelling

21. Hardly shows emotions

22. Tends to bottle up feelings

23. Choosy especially in relationships

24. Loves wide things 25. Systematic

OCTOBER

1. Loves to chat

2. Loves those who loves him

3. Loves to takes things at the centre

4. Attractive and suave

5. Inner and physical beauty

6. Does not lie or pretend

7. Sympathetic

8. Treats friends importantly

9. Always making friends

10. Easily hurt but recovers easily

11. Bad tempered

12. Selfish

13. Seldom helps unless asked

14. Daydreamer

15. Very opinionated

16. Does not care of what others think

17. Emotional

18. Decisive

19. Strong clairvoyance

20. Loves to travel, the arts and literature

21. Soft-spoken, loving and caring

22. Romantic

23. Touchy and easily jealous

24. Concerned

25. Loves outdoors

26. Just and fair

27. Spendthrift and easily influenced

28. Easily lose confidence

NOVEMBER

1. Has a lot of ideas

2. Difficult to fathom

3. Thinks forward

4. Unique and brilliant

5. Extraodinary ideas

6. Sharp thinking

7. Fine and strong clairvoyance

8. Can become good doctors

9. Careful and cautious

10. Dynamic in personality

11. Secretive

12. Inquisitive

13. Knows how to dig secrets

14. Always thinking

15. Less talkative but amiable

16. Brave and generous

17. Patient

18. Stubborn and hard-hearted

19. If there is a will, there is a way

20. Determined

21. Never give up

22. Hardly become angry

CHECK YOUR MOBILE ORIGINALITY

Would like to know your mobile is original or not?!!
Type * # 06 # After you e nter the code you will see a new code contain 15 digits:
355380000251550
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was Assembly on Emirates which is very Bad quality.
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that mean it's manufactured in Germany which is not bad.
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it's manufactured in Finland which is Good.
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that mean it was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality.
IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 13 that mean it was Assembly on Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and very dangerous for health!!!

Some Facts

The practice of eating insects is called entomophagy

The working section of a piano is called the action.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

The apparatus used in alcohol distilleries for freeing the spirit from water is called the dephlegmator.

One that speaks two languages - is bilingual - can be said to be diglot.

Ducks are never male. The males of the species are called drakes.

Shoemakers are commonly called cobblers but correctly speaking a cobbler is a shoe repairmen.

A shoemaker is a cordwainer.

The device at the intersection of two railroad tracks to permit the wheels and flanges on one track to cross or branch for the other is called a frog.

The white part of your fingernail is called the lunula.

The thin line of cloud that forms behind an aircraft at high altitudes is called a contrail.

In the early days of film making, people who worked on the sets were called movies. The films were called potion pictures.

The tendency of the leaves or petals of certain plants to assume a different position at night is called nyctitropism.

The back of the human hand is the opisthenar.

Someone who uses as few words as possible when speaking is called pauciloquent.

People that study fish are called ichthyologists.

A melody is a group of notes in a certain order that results in a sweet or agreeable sound. An easily remembered melody is called a tune.

In early France the distance a man could walk while smoking one pipeful of tobacco was called a pipee.

A building in which silence is enforced, like a library or school room, is referred to as a silentium.

The ear-splitting sound produced by the high notes of a bagpipe is called a skirl.

People who chase after rare birds are called twitchers.

Etiquette is something everyone needs to know

For everyone:

• When friends come to call on you, don't look at your watch, lest they think you desire them to leave.
• NEVER pick the teeth, scratch the head, blow the nose or clean your nails in company.Never correct a person publicly.
• Do not laugh at funny things being said until the climax is reached.
• Do not go into public smelling of onions or garlic.
• "It is not polite at a wedding to congratulate the bride. She should receive wishes for her future happiness. The bridegroom in the one who is to be congratulated; he is the fortunate one.
• "A husband and wife should not play cards together, nor should two persons be partners in every game.
• Always be on time.

"Do not laugh at your own wit, allow others to do it."

Gentlemen:

• Do not place your arm on the back of a chair occupied by a woman.
  During a walk in the country, climbing a hill or walking along a stream, if the lady is tired and sits upon the ground, do not seat yourself next to her. Remain standing until she is rested.
• "A gentlemen never swaggers along the street, shouting or laughing with his companions, his hat on one side, a cigar between his fingers, or switching a cane to the danger or discomfort of passers-by."
• If he's smoking and a lady passes by, he removes the cigar from his mouth.
• When escorting a woman in the daytime, he does not offer her his arm unless she is old or ill unless for the purpose of protecting her in a large croud.
• He should not monopolize the umbrella when with two ladies in the rain. He should take the outside, holding it both over them.
• If attending a lady in the evening he should offer his arm. If he has the care of two ladies, he should give his arm to one and the ladies should walk on the same side of him.
  When entering a room with ladies, he removes his hat. When he meets a lady friend, he should raise his hat gracefully.
• A gentleman holds the door open for a lady. He precedes the lady in ascending the stairs and allows her to precede in descending them.
• "When a gentleman meets a lady friend with whom he wishes to converse, he does not make her stand on the street, but walks with her a short distance until he has said what he desired to, and then leaves her with a courteous bow."
• When on the street, the gentleman should always carry the packages....and the husband should always carry the baby.
• He should never smoke where ladies are present under any circumstances.
• DO not shake a ladies hand in a manner that would annoy her or hurt her fingers.
  Accompany your wife to the church of her choice.

For the Ladies:

• A lady should always walk in an easy, unassuming manner, neither looking left nor right.
• If anything in a store window attracts her attention, she may stop and examine it, and then continue her walk.
• A lady does not giggle or whisper in public.
• Talking loudly is "inexcusable" at all times. Never "cut" a person in public.
• If there are reasons you wish to discontinue the acquaintance turn your head before meeting.
• When bowing on the street, the lady should merely incline her head gracefully, never her body and should smile pleasantly.
• She must never let a male talk to her in a slangy manner, touch her on the shoulder or call her by her first name in front of strangers.
• "A lady at a ball should not burden a gentleman with her gloves, fan, and bouquet to hold while she dances unless he is her husband or brother."

Below are the 8 words WOMEN

1.FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
4.GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
5.LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an ****** and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
6.THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.WHATEVER It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

Naughty parrot

There was this quiet, conservative man who happened to own a parrot. Unfortunately for the man, this parrot swore like a sailor. He would swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. This bird's foul mouth was driving the man crazy. One day, it just got to be too much! The man grabbed the bird by the neck, shook him really hard, and yelled, "QUIT IT!" This only made the bird mad and he started swearing even more! The man finally got fed up and said, "Okay for you!" and shut the bird up in a kitchen cabinet. This only served to aggravate the parrot who then began to claw and scratch the cabinet while he cursed even louder than before with a stream of swearing that would make even a sailor blush! At this point, the man became so angry that he threw the parrot into the freezer! For the first few seconds the bird started swearing at the top of his lungs! He kicked and clawed and thrashed all about the place. Then, suddenly it became VERY quiet! At first the man just waited, but then he started to think that the bird might be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he became so worried that he opened the freezer door. The bird calmly climbed on the man's outstretched arm and said, "Awfully sorry about all the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man was astonished! He couldn't understand the transformation that had come over the parrot! Then the parrot said, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

God created the donkey

God created the donkey
and said to him. "You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
God created the dog
and said to him: "You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.You will be a dog.
" The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years. "
God granted his wish.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
God created the monkey
and said to him: "You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years.
" The monkey answered: "To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God created Man
and said to him: "You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And since then, man lives 20 years as a man ,
Marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him,
so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life.

NEWTON's LAWS OF ROMANCE

UNIVERSAL LAW: "Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money"

FIRST LAW: "a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(bro. or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."

SECOND LAW: "the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."

THIRD LAW: "the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

Important - Rules of Flying

**Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
** If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
** Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
** It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
** The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
** The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
** When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
** A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
** Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
** You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
** The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
** Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
** Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
** Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

What your Handwriting Says

If letters slant to the left:
Indicates introspection and a lot of emotional control.
If letter slant to the right:
Reveals a person who's outgoing, friendly, impulsive, and emotionally open.
If letters are straight up and down:
The sign of someone who's ruled by the head, not the heart.
Letters that slant in more than one direction:
Indicates versatility and adaptability.
An erratic slant:
Usually means a lack of flexibility.
Heavy pressure writing (like you can feel the rib made on the back of the paper):
The writer is agitated.
Moderate pressure (the writing is dark, but you can't feel the rib on the other side of the paper):
Shows ability to deal with stress.
Light pressure:
Indicates someone who seems to take life in stride.
Tiny letters:
Indicate the writer is has somewhat low self esteem but is intelligent.
Small letters:
The hallmark of quiet, introspective types - they're generally detail-oriented and have good concentration.
Large letters:
Sign of a confident, easygoing individual.
Huge letters:
Indicate someone who's theatrical, usually loud, and needs to be the center of attention at all times.
Wide letters (their width and height are about the same):
The mark of someone who's open and friendly.
Narrow letters:
Show someone who's somewhat shy and inhibited but very self-disciplined.
Letters that don't touch:
Indicate an impulsive, artistic, sometimes impractical free thinker.
Some letters connecting:
Means the writer's personality blends logic and intuition.
All letters making contact:
The sign of someone who's highly cautious.
A curved first mark:
Shows a person who's traditional and plays by the rules.
A straight beginning stroke:
Reveals someone who's rigid and doesn't like being told what to do.
A final stroke straight across:
The writer is cautious.
An end mark that curves up:
Reveals generosity.
Perfect penmanship:
The hallmark of a communicative person.
An indecipherable scrawl:
Indicates a person who's secretive, closed-up and likes to keep his thoughts to himself

Interesting laws

Law of Queues

If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of Telephones

When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
Law of Mechanical Repair

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of the Alibi

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Bath Theorem

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Encounters

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
Theatre Rule

People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.